


Five Dinners the Batclan Never Had

by zarabithia



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-10
Updated: 2006-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 10:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14893283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zarabithia/pseuds/zarabithia
Summary: see title.





	Five Dinners the Batclan Never Had

a.) Jason scowled throughout all of dinner and took great delight in muttering words that Alfred normally would have scolded the boy for. There was no doubt that the butler would have done so this time as well, had the dinner not been a celebration of Jason's survival following an encounter with the Joker.

The fuckers actually expected Jason to be grateful to be alive. Never mind the fact that he would never walk again. Never be Robin again.

That's probably why they were so damned happy.

"It's good to have you back, son," Bruce was saying, raising his glass in a toast that was awfully close to the fop's toasting skills. That was all Jay was worth? Bruce Wayne, playboy, and his fake social skills? 

Oh, fuck that. Fuck that, despite the fact that it was the first time Dick the Dork didn't wince when Bruce called Jason son.

"Wish I could say the same," Jason snapped, "But it's kind of hard to do, considering that I'm stuck in this goddamn chair."

He waited. Waited for their reactions, while he felt them tense, certain of the chastising that would come, both for his language and for his ungratefulness at still being alive. 

But it didn't happen. Instead, Alfred sat his favorite dessert in front of him, and Barbara casually remarked, "You know, Jason, there are a number of ways you can continue to fight crime from your chair. I'll be happy to show you a few, if you like."

Jason had never really liked Babs much. She was all things perfect and good - Dick's stupid crush, after all. But the smile she gave went really well with the cherry cheesecake sitting in front of him. And the combination of the two was simply too much to still be angry at, no matter how much the world deserved it.

Besides, flirting with Dick's girl always pissed the older man off, which was a good plan, with the first Robin sitting right beside Jason. "Yeah, I'd like that," he agreed, tossing a flirty, predatory smile in her direction.

Dick leaned over and said softly, "Just between you and me? I don't think you can handle her, Little 'Wing."

"I like a challenge," Jason responded before ignoring his big brother entirely in favor of the redhead and the cheesecake. 

b.) "I could help you," Tim volunteered, eating the broccoli like the good son that Jason wasn't. Jason rolled his eyes and sent the veggies on an covert spy mission beneath the fortress of mashed potatoes.

"Don't need your help, ass munch. I don't care about history enough to study for it."

Timmy looked offended and Bruce gave Jason a look that clearly said "stop bothering the new recruit."

In response to both of his dinner companions, Jason began drafting his peas into a very special training mission, which he liked to call "teaching the newbie how to duck," a mission that lasted the rest of the night, to Bruce's great annoyance. 

Blue Jay and his tiny little green cannon balls totally kicked Robin's ass. 

c.) The second Robin sighed and wondered, really, what was Alfred's fetish with beef stroganoff whenever Kent stopped by. 

He also wished Dick would hurry the hell up and get to the point of his announcement so Jason could go raid the refrigerator for some real food.

Given the way Dick kept fidgeting in his chair next to the Boy Scout, that didn't seem likely. In the interest of helping both his brother and himself, Jason got to the point for him. "What Dick is trying to say, is that he and Kent are fucking," he announced, taking rather an immense delight in seeing Superman actually try to choke. 

"Jason!" Dick kicked Jason hard enough under the table that the second Robin would be limping for a week. 

"I'm aware of their relationship, Jason," Bruce - no, Batman said. "But really, let's not interrupt them. I'm sure there's a lot they both want to explain. Isn't that right, Clark?" The older man looked about as happy right then as he did when they were fighting the Joker, and Jason had to resist the urge to laugh.

He wondered, if Dick gave Bruce a heart attack, if that would make Jason the good son for once. 

d.) Dinner was light, as befitted a meal before a heavy workout. Dick, Tim, Cassandra, and Bruce ate their meal silently, Alfred's well prepared meal as appetizing as ground gravel in their mouths. 

When it was over, they descended into the Bat Cave to begin work on the memorial that the Fourth Robin had earned. 

e.) On Cassandra's first day back after the . . .incident. . .with Slade, Helena Kyle turned around in her high chair and promptly dumped an entire bowl of peas and carrots into Cassandra's lap. 

Cass glanced around the Wayne family dinner table, and read her family's body languages - Selina's bemusement, Dick's embarrassment for her, Bruce's pride in Helena's aim, and Tim's contentment.

It was good to be home, Cass thought, as she wiped the vegetables off her lap.


End file.
